SilentArcher
One Of God's Mistakes
"The best way out is always through." ? Robert Frost
Posts: 9
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Post by SilentArcher on Feb 6, 2012 4:19:39 GMT
This wasn't told to me directly, but to me from my vet tech friends:
A woman brought her dog into the vet and placed him on the exam table. She explained that she just adopted the dog and was confused about ticks. She pointed to his belly and began to speak. "He's got ticks on his belly! I tried to get them off, but they just won't come off! He needs to be treated." The vet tech tried to supressed her laughter and looked at the woman calmly. "Ma'am, those are nipples, not ticks." The confused, and now slightly angry owner replied, "But he's a BOY!" The vet tech started laughing and said "Seen your husband lately?" (True story)
Another funny one people hear when I rescue animals and advocate for pit bulls. Stupid neighbor: "The neighbor's dog is PSYCHO! He's a pit bull and he's gonna eat my dogs." Me: "He's a bulldog...and uh, he's just hyper. He's barking at your dogs because he's bored because his owner never walks him." Neighbor: "Well...uh...he looks mean." Me: "So you want mean looking animals killed or what?" Neighbor: "Ummm...You're REALLY MEAN!" Me: "I know, they haven't killed me yet, either. You must be right. You should run for president." *neighbor storms off angry*
That one always gets me.
Some of the dummest things I hear when I tell people I'm going to vet tech school.
-Does this look infected? (I hear this one a lot.) -Why is my dog psycho? -My cat pissed on my bed, is he mad at me? -What's wrong with my pet? (I'm not a DVM, nutcase) -Oh, you like animals! My uncle's/dad's/cousin's dog just had puppies! Want one! (No, fix your dog. What am I? A shelter?)
Aside from animal antics, I have tons of stupid stories.
Funniest thing I heard from customers that bought eletronics from me:
It's 8am on Christmas morning and the lady I sold an Xbox-TV-and everything needed bundles calls me. I sold it with an HDMI cable which confused her but I explained it for like 2 hours when she bought it. I'm of course hungover and asleep when she calls and wakes me out of a dead sleep. Lady: "I think I left the cables at your house! There's only this weird looking one." "I am so hungover so listen close, and don't make me even meaner. The green and black cable. See it?" "Uh, yeah..." "Plug that in where ever it'll fit. " "Okay. I did it, now what? I see nothing." "Click " input until you see the Xbox screen." "OH! Okay! That's what my son told me to do, I just didn't know if it would work..." Me, completely pissed: "Next time, listen to him instead of waking me up on Christmas morning for this shit. Will that be all?" Her: "Uh huh..." Me: "Remember, google before you call, like I told you." Her "Oh, uh, yeah...thanks! *click*"
I am a great sales person, lol.
I sell a lot of computers and cell phones to make ends meet. In fact, people see me selling computers that are overclocked or modded to have more ram or different hard drives and they call me going:
"Can you fix my computer?" "That depends." "Well, it like, won't turn on...I can give you like 5 bucks for it." "Is it plugged in?" "Oh, thanks man! Still want 5 bucks?" "No, not really. And I won't fix your PC for you."
XD
Anyone got anymore stupid/funny stories?
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